Our trip to the grand opening of the new Publix store this morning was a bit more than we had bargained for. Sure, when we started out it looked a little gloomy. And yes, it was more than a little breezy. But we didn’t think it was going to get as bad as it did. We were in the meat section, when everyone got the same text message of a tornado warning. Thinking it was just an exaggeration, we kept shopping for a few, then headed on to the check out. When we got to the front doors, we immediately noticed their new landscaping being chewed up by the wind, and the trees bending over. We headed back inside. The managers passed out cookies, and told employees to get out some chairs for us, and we waited it out. When it had died down a little bit, we got in the car and headed home. There were some destroyed signs, trees down, debris in the roads, and one poor soul got a tree on his house. That was round one. Round two is hitting us right now. It looks like it’s going to be a looooong night.
Winters is around 9 weeks old right now, and he’s doing very well. He’s growing like a weed and is taking instruction pretty good. He knows how to sit, drop it, leave it, and how to get his baby toys when I ask him. He also knows what it means when we ask him to go potty. It’s a good thing he’s a fast learner, because I think he’s going to be huge. On the bright side of things, we don’t need to buy a plow horse or tractor.
How to thread the needle, or get a bit of attention from your very busy husband. Start small. Wear something skimpy. Ask how his day was. Drape yourself over the kitchen island and recite a love poem you wrote in sixth grade. Remember to keep your voice pleasant and even. Not like a violin string snapping from overuse. Since time is of the essence, if this fails, wave some food under his nose and disguise yourself as a text from a colleague. Works every time.
Start with an opening sentence to grab the reader’s attention. Entice them with the cookies, pies and cakes. Insert gratuitous pictures of said snacks, and desserts. Relay a colorful anecdote, don’t forget to “LOL”. Close with some mother-in-law humor, and tie it in with the opening sentence…
Whooooo doesn’t like some HOT snacks?? Hot snacks such as this mouthwatering, Caramel Apple Pie? (opening sentence- check) AND, I’ve heard an apple a day keeps the weirdos away. I know, it’s supposed to keep doctors away, but you can’t keep them away. Not even if you were wearing a suit made of government issued insurance cards. (anecdote-check) Let’s see, what’s next? Oh yeah, mother-in-law humor. I can’t say shit about my mother-in-law, not only was she a sweet lady, but she made the best desserts ever…but, hey, did someone mention HOT snacks? OH WAIT…I almost forgot to LOL!
Today, John, Shane and I went to a local renaissance festival. Shane had a blast riding elephants, horses and watching the knights joust. He now wants to add being a knight to his long list of future careers, which includes being a soldier, police officer, actor, singer, doctor, and now a knight.
Apparently Shane has been chosen to play the big bad wolf at his school, so I decided to sit down and conduct an interview with him about it. What follows are shocking secrets, and words of wisdom by our *cough* humble subject. (mercifully edited by me) lol