Dysfunctional Diary Entry

February 16, 2014

Dysfunctional Diary Entry #…who knows? Stardate friggin’ February 2014
Dear Dysfunctional Diary,
Let me tell you about my trip to the grocery store on Valentine’s Day.
So parking was ridiculous at the local Walmart. Why? Because all the friggin’ morons who forgot to get a card and what-have-you for their loved ones all decided to go the day of and cause a traffic jam. Add to this some nitwit who was attempting to sell puppies in the parking lot and thugs with their asses hanging out, walking slowly and smoking cigarettes down the lanes. That’s okay, go ahead and let your asses hang out, give me a target to hit…I dare you. If I still smoked and had a lit cigarette, take a guess where I’d be flipping it? Don’t think I’d do it? I’ve been known to flip a cigarette at certain, shall we say, Richard Craniums before. Certain ones that talked sex crap at me like I wasn’t even there. Yeahhhh…wait, so where was I at?
Oh yes, Walmart. I successfully made it to a parking space without managing to run over someone and walked inside. There were people everywhere! The people by the Valentine’s section were in full shark feeding frenzy mode so I sidestepped them and went on my way. My mission was simple, to pick up some flour. What I came out with was a very confused look and about ten grocery bags in a cart. WTH?? Okay, that’s not that unusual, it happens about every time I go to the store. However, this weird thing happened when I was in the checkout lane. There was this girl in front of me that caught my attention by the way she took things out of her cart and put them on the conveyer belt thingie. She would pick each item up oh so gingerly, and then place it just as softly on the belt. I watched her empty her cart. She treated every item the same way. I finally came to the conclusion that she was either high, hung over or crazy as a fucking loon. It kind of pisses me off that I didn’t pay more attention to the nut jobs in the holiday section. I bet there were some really entertaining people there. Apparently I was walking around in a food induced coma or something. But there’s always next time.


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