January 23, 2012

I was aiming for the “dashboard” button and clicked “new post” instead. As a result I got caught with my thoughts down! SO while I’m here I might as well talk about something.
I know, I’ll do one of those stream of consciousness type posts!
Okay, I felt good today, I mean really good. I mean, dancing, exercising and being goofy–oh what the hell, who spilled something on the carpet?? For God’s sake, why don’t we all just spill the first glass of everything we drink onto the floor as a sacrifice to the carpet gods? ::sigh:: Sadly, it was probably me. It’s just not a normal day unless I spill my coffee. Too bad it wasn’t one of the coffees I put my glutamen in, that stuff is nasty. Maybe I can make this spill thing work for me? Maybe the next time someone notices the multiple stains on the carpet I’ll just say. “NO, it’s not stained, we bought it that way! It’s one of those new spotted carpets. This one was called, “The Tourettes Special”-aka- I stubbed my toe and spilled my sh*t”
Let’s see, what else??
On the news I heard some story about how men handle pain better than women. (insert jerking motion here) Oh yeah? Really? Good, let the macho men start having babies. We’ll see how long it takes for the human race to become extinct. pffffft
Annnnnd I’m outta here. Not too bad for an accidental post, eh?



  1. Fellers, when you push a nine pound 4 ounce baby out of your anus and get a Brazillian – we’ll talk.

    While giving birth, I didn’t scream, sweat profusely, or vow that Mr. Crankipants was never going to touch me again – you know, like you see in the movies. I imagine it’s because I’m totally badass. If memory serves, we were listening to Ella Fitzgerald and I was looking at take-out menus and deciding on what I was going to eat afterwards. Nothing like giving birth to make you work up an appetite!

  2. LOL! That’s for sure! I swear we’re like sisters separated at birth or something. When I had my youngest, right after birth, I was sitting Indian style (with an ice pack in place) on the bed and eating a ham sandwich. I didn’t see much point in crying or getting all worked up, all it would do is make things worse. I did get a bit testy at the beginning of labor, but things progressed nicely after that. I was listening to Aerosmith.

  3. I forgot about those marvelous ice packs, they felt so good! I love my boy, but he came out of me like the Kool-Aid Man, it hurt more after than during. I wasn’t very big so the doctors were predicting a 7 pounder, had I known how many stitches it was going to take to close up my hoo-hoo, I would have looked into surrogacy.

  4. The ice packs and those squirt bottles to spray warm water on where it hurt were the best! I don’t even know if they give out the bottles after giving birth anymore.
    Jessica was 7lbs. 8oz. and Tess was 7lbs. 15oz. With Jess I was in hard labor for roughly 3 or 4 hours, and with Tess only 2 -2/12 hours. In fact, Tess came out so fast that I thought I was in the beginning stages of labor, when I was actually near the end. I thought the pain was going to get worse, so I said I wanted an epidural, which never happened because she was crowning before they could even make it down the hall to order it. lol But the best part was watching my sister run around like a maniac, swearing at me one minute, and apologizing the next. hehehe Good times, good times.

  5. SPRAY BOTTLES???? I didn’t get no stinkin’ spray bottles!!! My great aunt described childbirth as “pulling your upper lip over your head”. She had five children.

    Mr. C was trying to be a good coach, he kept gently reminding me to breathe, which after a while got on my last nerve – I finally gave him “the look”. I said, “I AM BREATHING, if I weren’t – I’d be dead.”

    Though I have to say that he did make me laugh. He pointed to the tray of afterbirth and said, “Hey, who ordered the eggplant parm?”

    This has been such a fun walk down memory lane!

  6. If you didn’t get a spray bottle you were short-changed, I’d demand a refund!! One of the best inventions ever.
    My grouchy moment came when I had my headphones on, attempting to maintain, and thinking I was at the beginning stages, trying not to panic about the pain. My dear sister was in attendance next to me. I suddenly ripped off the head phones and said something like, “These freakin’ things aren’t doing any good”. Kind of surprised her. lol
    However, the queen of grouch goes to my sister, who during the labor/birth of her first child, got tired of people taking her picture as she was walking the halls and mooned said familial photographers. ROFL The picture is still floating around somewhere.z
    This has been fun! I love swapping birth stories.

  7. Good for her! That’s really funny!

    I completely forgot that when I went home I had to buy one of those sitz bath things to put over the toilet, because I became addicted to the ice packs. It’s sort of like a poor man’s bidet. It helped, but it wasn’t the same as my frosty ice packs.

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