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Just Another Day In Paradise

November 17, 2011

Life has been so weird lately. It’s been a mixture of fear, fatigue, pain, sadness, and sometimes life seems so normal, it’s hard to believe I’m sick at all. Today was a good day. My stomach and back didn’t hurt, so I was able to get the dishes and laundry done. I wanted to dance sooo bad, but I just couldn’t do it. Mostly because I’m scared to jar myself around too much. I’m sure it’s a psychological thing. Just like I discovered today that I avoid looking at myself too long in the mirror. Weird.
Other observations are how odd it is to hear people give their condolences etc. It’s kind of what it would feel like to attend your own funeral, although it touches me deeply, it’s an odd sensation. I also seem to want to cry at the drop of a hat…want to… but I don’t have anyplace to be by myself to do it. I’ve never been one to cry in front of people, I just don’t feel comfortable doing it. It’s too bad, I could use a good cry right now.
Despite all of this I’ve committed to hanging in there and trying to keep things as normal as possible, when my body cooperates. As for today, it is a good day, and that’s all that matters for right now.

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4 comments

  1. This is a speed bump. A serious speed bump, but you’ll get through this and be back to normal soon enough. Well, “normal” for you, anyway. 🙂


  2. Abbey-normal? lol


  3. Good Wishes, Thoughts and Prayers will be offered………

    Have Faith……..


  4. Thank you LD, I’m hanging in there. 🙂



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