Writing Christmas Letters Can Be So Tricky

December 4, 2010

Since it’s the time of year for Christmas Letters to begin arriving, I thought I’d throw my hat into the ring and write something that speaks to the honesty and humbleness of such letters.

2010 Christmas Letter (Rough Draft)
It’s been a tough year at the ol’ homestead. I know I shouldn’t dump all of this on you, but I think these yearly letters should be as honest, and truthful as possible.
Since my husband Bubba, lost his job, he thought it would be a good idea to take what was left of our life savings and go to Vegas. After losing it all, he was so demoralized that he took to sitting on the couch, drinking and watching daytime tv. His favorite thing to do now is throw beer cans at Judge Judy. To help him out a bit I decided to stake out a street corner and rent myself out. I guess hard times call for hard measures.

As you know, our son Junior was tested, after falling behind in school…well…that and the fact that he tried to stick a light bulb up the principal’s butt. They say he has an IQ of 32, but they were just estimating because he ate the results before they could finish reading it. I always thought he would do so well, since speaking his first word, “beer” at the age of 2.

On a happier note, our lovely Sally Sue has just informed us she is pregnant. I guess those conjugal visits at the local prison really paid off. And more good news! By the time the baby graduates, the father should be out for it!

In other good news, Bubba finally got around to building the new outhouse. And you know, I think if we hose off the old one and attach it to the house, it would make a good second bedroom. However, the kitchen sink sprung a leak, and boy let me tell ya, with the wind whistling through those cracks in the house, it didn’t take long for it to freeze right up. Unfortunately, Bubba was walking through to get the plunger after his morning ritual and slid completely through the back door. So back to the couch and Judge Judy he goes.

2010 Christmas Letter (Actual Letter)
Seasons Greetings Everyone! Although we’ve been very blessed this year, we’ll try not to brag, but I believe these yearly letters should be as honest and truthful as possible.

After years of being at the same job, Bubba decided it was time for a career change. At first he was lured into the exciting world of accounting, and then he thought he would open a micro-brewery, but after some soul searching he finally decided on the criminal justice field. While Bubba pursued his new career, I thought it would be fun to get out and meet new people. At first it was hard, but when I actually got out there and put my best foot forward, things really started happening.

Junior is doing well in school. In fact they just tested him to see how high his IQ actually is. I don’t want to brag, but everyone thinks he’s really something special, especially the principal. He even let him light up the Christmas tree this year.

I’m going to be a grandmother! Sally Sue is pregnant! Her new husband is on tour with the rodeo right now, but he’ll hopefully be off tour in 15-20.

Lastly, we’ve been doing some renovation on the ol’ homestead. Bubba fixed up the bathroom, added a another bedroom and even installed an ice skating rink inside the house..oh…and he also added a pet door for Blue. And I guess that’s all the news from here!

Hope this Letter finds you well and Merry Christmas Everyone!


One comment

  1. That’s has to be the best Christmas letter EVER!

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