August 31, 2009

I might have posted these before, but I just found them again and I think they’re funny.


A man and his wife are sitting in the living room and he says to her:
“Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state dependent on some machine. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.”
His wife gets up and unplugs the TV.


The husband had just finished reading the book, “The Man of the House.”

He stormed into the house and walked directly up to his wife. Pointing a finger in her face, he said, “From now on, I want you to know that I am the man of this house and my word is law!

Right now, I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal, and when I’m finished eating my meal, I expect a sumptuous dessert afterward. Then after dinner, you’re going to draw me my bath so I can relax. And when I’m finished with my bath, GUESS WHO’S going to dress me and comb my hair?”

His wife replied, “The funeral director?”!


Who was the first women in the Bible with PMS? It was Mary. She rode Joseph’s ass all the way to Egypt.


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